Dating and Relationships

Lessons I Learned in October

It has definitely been a while since my last post. The thing about me and writing is that certain words or phrases have to “hit me” in order to produce content. I don’t sit behind my laptop and research witty or inspirational topics to discuss instead, I live life, encounter different experiences and have that “ah ha” moment of insight. Genius enlightenment is what I like to call it.

During the month of October, I’ve gotten that insight back by rekindling a semi-dwindling friendship, re-examining my personal finances, and allowing myself to become vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart, travel, and growing in age.

Last month gave me more insight into the type of woman that I want to become. The type of vibes I want to give off to the universe, and with that, I leave you all with a few of my profound reflections on the previous five weeks.

  Friendships Come and Go

The Japanese have a term, kenzoku, which when translated means “family.” This connotation suggests a bond between people who’ve made a similar commitment and who possibly, over time, share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past. But sometimes these bonds become strained because of too much time spent apart, or comradery is no longer a priority due to life changes, personal growth, or declining interest in the union.

things-found-in-a-school-chs-5The thing about kenzoku is that you are stuck with them by default. You both share the same blood so are tied together by genetics, but with friends, you merely have memories that come and go. So why hold on to fledging past times if the other person can careless right?



In any relationship, communication, as well as consistency, is key. And when it comes to maintaining a friendship that you’ve had for nearly eight years, you learn a thing or two about remaining open to working things out.  Last month, I learned that it is okay to rekindle burned out friendships instead of letting people go. Some people are worthy of that second chance.

Some memories are worth holding onto.

401k’s, Credit Cards, Life Insurance

Besides posting pictures on Instagram, going to work five days out of the week, and binge-watching old episodes of Grey’s AnatomyI have my sh*t together in the realm of finances. I am unsure of how I manage to pay all of my expenses while maintaining a fun-filled social life, but October has taught me to slow down on spending and come up with a more permanent “adult-like” stratagem when it comes to money and making a surplus of income.

Reaching a point of financial security is a process that takes time, effort and some sacrifices. I learned this the hard way during the early stages of college where I would spend my entire refund check and not thinking about the long-term consequences of my choices I found myself broke, hungry, and out of alternatives.


Financial security is on my list of comfortabilities. For that reason, I’ve decided to dissect my standard of living (SOL)  for the month of October and come up with ways to further save for my future endeavors. Savings created by good planning can prove beneficial in difficult times. For example, you can make sure there is enough coverage to replace any lost income should a primary breadwinner become unable to work.

By starting early, you can put time on your side and for me, my time started once I applied for my first credit card.

Your credit card can help you budget expenses each month, provided you pay your bill in full every time. If you do, your bill then acts as a master receipt that displays an itemized listing of what you spent your money on. Some credit cards, especially those from American Express, even categorize your purchases and send quarterly or annual summaries of your spending that provide percentage breakdowns of how much you spent on retail, dining, entertainment, etc.

The upside to having a credit card is that I am able to effectively build my credit score in the process. The more times I pay my credit bill off the higher my limit increases thus resulting in a higher credit score (over time), and elevating my goals of financial security.

Traveling the World

For my 25th birthday, I had the pleasure of going to the Dominican Republic for the first time. During this trip, I learned the difference between talking about “making moves” and actually putting those steps into motion and executing a vision that you have in regards to your life.

Traveling has always been a passion of mine and the previous month has taught me to continue to tap into my adventurous side when it comes to planning trips and seeing the world from my own point of view.


The most important takeaway I get from traveling is it’s the easiest way for me to really live in the moment. When I’m away from my daily routine, I experience little to no stress and focus on making each day of my trip as fun as possible. No constant texting, checking my phone or emails when I’m in a faraway place. All the new destinations and experiences I come across make every day more meaningful and yes, last longer.

While in the D.R, I had the pleasure of spending time with my two cousins Tommy and Greg, who joined me on this trip.

Unfortunately, we only see each other a few times throughout the year but the 4+ days we’ve spent in Punta Cana, made up for the gaps in between. These two young men further showed me how to have a good time all while looking out for my well-being and safety. Amid Tommy’s dare-devil antics and Greg’s cool-guy exterior, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and bringing in twenty-five the right way!

Vulnerability and Openness

Towards the end of October, I had time to reflect on my next steps for the New Year. Being someone who constantly wants to improve and self-evolve, some of these next phases include aspects of my career, family matters, and my new found approach to dating.


The anxiety that I face before making life-changing decisions always hit me like a ton of bricks. I tend to overthink nonexistent scenarios which cause me to lose focus when trying to hit certain benchmarks for myself, but last month I conquered my fears of being vulnerable and allowing myself to be open and forth coming with all the new and exciting changes that have been taking place.

I’ve recently been taking on different writing projects that have expanded my adroitness in printed composition for different audiences. Through this process, I learned that it is super easy to write about your passions and desires but it’s an entirely different story when you’re doing so across a bigger platform with larger viewership.

Like I’ve said in previous blog posts, writing has been an outlet for me since I first knew how to form complete sentences. Sometimes I can not express how I feel through verbal communication but through blogging and written expression, I have found a voice.

Finding an appropriate balance between work and family time has been a struggle for months now. There never seems to be enough hours in the day and by not being in close proximity to my immediate family is sometimes a strain but all and all i’m continuing to find my way throughout my days of adulthood.




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