Once a month I attend solo dinners, movie outings, and various activities that only require one participant. To the average person such things may be viewed as a waste of time, or broaden line psychopathic behavior, but for me doing single things as a single woman in her twenties brings forth a new type of independence that I haven’t felt since attending college fresh out of high school.
Sure there are stares, silent whispers, and the frequently asked question of “just one”? that reminds me that singleness also accompanies lonely nights, sex deprivation, and daydream fantasies of what life would look like five years from now, but I am perfectly fine with navigating through life as a -1 attendee when going out independently (at least for now).
One of the common misconceptions about single women is that we aren’t credible sources when it comes to matters of the heart when giving advice because we don’t have a companion and know nothing about what it takes to keep someone because of our inability to sustain a lasting romantic relationship. Not only is this idea idiotic for those who believe it to be true, but it is also foolish to assume that your friend has not learned a thing or two about the hard truths of love just because her previous situation did not end in long-term commitment.
Debunking the Single B*tch Friend
She has ambition, a goal to achieve that may not be seen by others. She is filled with flaws but embraces experiences and new relationships as if she hasn’t known heartbreak. She works hard, loves harder, but doesn’t have time for the foolery that various lovers have brought her way.
If you are not ready for the real thing, leave this woman alone.
What I love about the single friend is that she lives in all of us who strive to be the best version of ourselves when living the single life. She is someone who is dependable amongst her girl group of friends but struggles to find meaningful connections in potential partners. However, she is wise beyond her years and observes those around her. The single friend has a story to tell, but no one wants to listen.
Being single isn’t the end of the world, and if your venting to your girlfriend about relationship issues, you may want to heed some of her friendly advice. Although she is manless, she may have some insight that is unknown to you.
Things to learn from Single Women
Singleness is one of those little gifts of life that need to be appreciated as is. Too many times we get caught up in the idea of being in a relationship that we skip the part where you are single, learning who you are and growing from past mistakes. Not all women who are single are lonely, we are alive, thriving, and seeking pleasure in the joys of our own company through travel, meeting new people, and owning our truths.
Here are a few pieces of relationship advice from single women:
If he/she isn’t treating you right… leave (easier said than done, but still, leave)
No one is worth the heartache and pain that comes with being in a toxic relationship. Understanding your wants and needs during the single phase will help promote healthy boundaries.
There’s plenty of fish in the sea, so go swimming
Singleness does not equate to being a “hoe”. Men and women have different meanings of what dating is but you should not allow others viewpoints to steer you in the wrong direction. Do who or what feels right to you.
Get comfortable with the idea of spending quality time with yourself
It is okay to do things by yourself. Take that vacation, go to a mixer, dating yourself is a beautiful experience.
Choose YOU first
Number 1 rule above all, no one’s happiness should come before your own.
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