Contrary to popular belief or what we see on our social feeds, having someone to go home to every night isn’t a guaranteed mind-blowing sexual experience whether coupled or single. Yes, having sex with someone you love is wonderful, you get the correct amount of foreplay, late night cuddling, and pillow talk. And it’s something that everyone should experience at least once in their life. But the same can be said for having sex while single, multiple times a day, with multiple lovers.
For women, the negative stigma behind having more than one partner (even while single) can sometimes shift our decision when wanting to seek out friends with benefits.
If you haven’t had an exploratory phase in which you’ve had the freedom to have a lot of sex without any strings attached, then now is the time to try it out.
Before you go clicking to the next post, as adults it’s important to not only know what you enjoy sexually but to also be able to communicate your needs in a confident, upfront manner. Regardless of how old you are or how long you’ve been single, making healthy, satisfying sexual decisions while dating, is the most attractive trait that we can possess.
For women, the negative stigma behind having more than one partner (even while single) can sometimes shift our decision when wanting to seek out friends with benefits. Deciding to open yourself up to the beauty of satisfying sex, and limited emotional connection can be liberating, but before you go spreading the love around, you may want to think before you thrust.
What are some things you should consider before having casual sex with multiple people?
I’ve had the pleasure of being single for the majority of my adult life and the reason why I say this is because I have been fortunate enough to experience great sex, new experiences, and the ability to speak my truth without internal remorse or a partners influence of the decisions that I make when it comes to my sexual satisfaction.
In the past, it has not always been this way. Prior to my self-liberating adult experiences, I too was ashamed of wanting or at least fantasizing about being with more than one person, in a day, week, or month. I would allow my non-exclusive relationships with men to dictate the ways in which I expressed myself in the bedroom. The fear of being labeled anything other than lady-like is what kept me from figuring out MY body, MY mind, and how I wanted to be handled sexually.
The decision to be open with who you share yourself with should be one that you make confidently. Here are a few things to ask yourself before being in a causal, multi-person sexual relationship.
- Are you emotionally/mentally stable to undergo this type of relationship?
For many people, sex is a form of emotional expression and comfortability. If you are unsure if you can handle the emotions that sex conjures up, you may want to think twice.
- Do you want exclusivity or something less restricting?
Not all casual relationships come with no strings attached. You want to make your intentions clear with the other persons involved before going on a sex drive, literally. It’s unfair to play with other peoples emotions when you are unsure of what you want. Be upfront, honest, and transparent about what you want to accomplish prior to sexual relations.
- How many partners are you comfortable with?
Asking yourself this question and actually thinking about how much energy you are willing to extend to others will save you a lot of time in the long run. It can be fun to go out and live your best life with multiple relations, but in terms of your sexual health, you always want to think about your safety, using protection, and feeling comfortable at all times.
Being single, responsible, and confident while making healthy sexual decisions for yourself is something to take pride in. Sex is not just an act of boredom or procreation. It is an experience that fosters independence when done correctly.
Women especially should take pride in handling sexual decisions that feel right to them. We are in charge of our bodies and\ we decide how many people we allow in, on or under them.