Nothing reminds you of how miserable you are than the holidays. Between navigating through long work weeks, missing family gatherings, and scrolling through your con-tactless phone, this time of year has many of us singing in unison “I have to get my life together”.
But that’s not to say that your life isn’t in sync, more of a conscious reminder to cut the sh*t and to seriously put in an effort when operating adulthood.
Recently, I’ve been on a quest in finding what works for me. In this journey, I am realizing that I do not have all the answers of what brings about wholeness, still, I understand the relevance of showing up for myself while being single, lonely and broke.
If you are ready to make a change in your life but are unsure of where to start, below are a few best practices that I implement throughout my life for a better well-being.
Make good use of time
The key to life management is time-management. As an adult, it can be difficult juggling multiple things at once. Self management is one aspect of my life that I constantly want to improve upon and in doing so, I am learning to swap out bad habits for more fulfilling ones.
For example, if you have a personal goal of wanting to read more books, instead of binge watching television, substitute thirty minutes of your favorite show, to a good read. Not only does time management increase productivity, but it also allows you to focus more on what’s important, than wasting meaningless hours on non-essentials.
Implement self care routines
Light candles, give yourself a pedicure, try cooking a cultural diverse dish. Becoming the best version of yourself involves taking care of your mind, body, and soul. When you take care of yourself, you give yourself the fuel you need to show up as the best version of yourself in your everyday life. Try implementing a few self-care routines that make you feel good. Be consistent in an effort to manifest a daily habit.
Create a realistic budget
Budgeting can be a very frustrating process, especially if you are paying back student loans, credit card debt, and rent. When budgeting, you have the ability to sit down and dissect your funds when looking at your bank statements, retail receipts, and automatic payments. The key in this step is, to be honest about the income that you are bringing in and how much you are spending on a monthly basis.
For me, digital apps that help you generate a budget does not work. I am a pen and paper type of woman and I need to physically see the numbers for myself. Take some time out to do the math and start a financial plan that works for your lifestyle. If you need a head start, here is a personalized spreadsheet towards financial freedom.
Say “No” more often
Being unable to say no can make you exhausted, stressed and irritable. It could be undermining any efforts you make to improve your quality of life if you spend hours worrying over how to get out of an already-promised commitment.
Just say no. That’s it, that’s all.
Date with less expectations
When I go out on a date, I find myself over analyzing every detail of the outing. “Is he the one?”, “how long will this last?”, “can I see myself creating a life with this person?” only to get my hopes up in the end. In an effort to shift my way of thinking in romantic settings, I had to lower my expectations whilst keeping standards in tact.
Going into dating with no expectations means you don’t change who you are for someone else. You simply act as you would in any day-to-day situation without actively searching for someone to date.
Spend time with “not-so-close” friends
When your friends let you down or schedules conflict, it may be time to turn to those “not-so-close” friends. They may be co-workers who you share similar interests, a neighbor or someone new. Getting out of your comfort zone can be the sole tool in dominating happiness.
Sit in silence
I frequently sit in silence, especially after experiencing a very emotional situation. Getting back in tune with myself during chaos is important to me. Engaging in comfortable silence, alone or with others, has health benefits both physically and mentally. Noise has been linked to increased stress and blood pressure, where as meditation has proven to reduce stress.
Living along increases the chances of silent moments. Take this time to sit with yourself in peace.
Invest in your talents
Opposite of creating a realistic budget, investing in yourself plays a role in personal growth. This doesn’t mean quit your job to become an entrepreneur (although I approve), it may mean taking up a free online course in web design or something that peaks interest.
It’s never to late to learn a new skill.
Embrace being lonely
It is okay to be single. It is okay to be lonely. The word lonely has such a negative connotation that many people try to push away the feeling of not being surrounded by others.
Embracing loneliness can be as simple as acknowledging the fact that you are alone for a specific moment or doing things solo because confidants already have plans. No matter the circumstance, everything will be okay in the end.